Need for Autonomy

Do you govern your own life? Do you decide where you go, what you do, and who you answer to? In many circumstances, we do. But, perhaps a better question is, are you happy with the choices you are making?

Humans need autonomy. We need to feel like we are in control of our own lives. Otherwise, misery, self hatred, and discontent creep in. We become robots, ruled only by the programming we have developed for ourselves. A program that someone else designed for us (parents, boss, spouse, etc…). When we exist in someone else’s world, ignoring the path we desire to follow, we lose our ability to do anything for ourselves. We always seek the approval of others at the expense of our own. The authentic satisfaction we long for doesn’t exist. Instead, we only feel comfort when someone else tells us we are worth something.

We don’t have to live this way. The negative things about ourselves that others have conditioned us to believe are likely untrue. We can resume control of our own reality. Life doesn’t have to be lived for someone else.

When you become free of the chains of others opinions of you, and realize that you are valuable, you are lovable, and you belong to yourself, that is when you can see with open eyes. No other human owns you.

The amazing thing about taking control of the direction of our own lives is that we start to realize how important everyone around us is. We are not alone. We are all in this together, moment by moment. We get to choose to help one another, rather than being forced to do something that our hearts are not in. True beauty is revealed when people are deciding by their own accord to give, to cherish, and to nurture each other. This is why free will is so important. This is why self government is the only way to live. It doesn’t create selfishness and greed. It creates human beings who love because it makes the giver and the receiver feel joy.

I’m certainly not suggesting that we stop considering the opinions of others. They can be important. We want to please our partners… our children… our parents. We care about these people, so what they think matters to us. But if we are ruled by their opinions, we begin to lose respect for them, simply because we do not respect ourselves. This sacrifices the happiness of all parties involved. Considering our feelings first is not wrong. It is what we have to do in order to be the best we can be for the people we love.

Start observing yourself. Are you headed in the direction you want to go? Or are you doing what someone else has conditioned you to do? If you aren’t following the path you should, then you and the people you interact with are missing out on the person you were meant to be.

Take control of your life. Be authentic with your partner, friend, or parent. Tell them you are struggling to show yourself. Be open, honest, and willing to help them step into the light along with you. Help each other, so that you all can become more fulfilled.

Life can be exhilarating, but only when we are actually living it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *